I have been playing calcetto (5-a-side soccer) since 2007. Throughout these 5 years, I have never felt more disappointed after winning than I do today. I know winning matters, but not when you play as bunch of individuals and not an ounce of team spirit. Maybe I take this game too close to heart, maybe I care a bit more than I should or perhaps I see it from a goalie’s point of view. Though it’s not the point I am coming from that matters. It’s us not coming together to play as a team from the same point of view what counts. They say you play as a team, but from where I stand I don’t see a team.  Deep down inside I am crying. I am crying because I am tired of losing. I am tired of losing when I know we deserve to win.

We really have a chance to make history here, I wonder if we’ll throw it all away due to our  inability to put differences aside.

***

Off the field and outside the game, I was excited to see you  at the game watching me  play. It calm me down when you listened to all my complains after the game. It put my mind to peace and helped me see the side I forget to look at. It touched me to see you how much you care. You encouraged me to share, something I rarely do. With you, talking comes natural. I feel at peace when you put your arms around me.

I am starting to fall for you.

Will you be there to catch me this time?

***

When I give, I’d rather give all I got than ever regret not giving enough. I  am no longer feeling like I am losing myself. More than ever I feel like I am discovering new sides of me that were kept hidden behind very dense walls. It is time to decide for myself, what’s right and what’s wrong.  Kicking expectations outta the door, rolling my sleeves and kinda excited to get down and dirty!

We all make mistakes.

I am no longer scared to make mine.

Life is a lesson:

A lesson you can’t learn by reading,

A lesson you can’t feel by touching,

A lesson you can’t experience by following an example of others,

Though it is a lesson you can discover by making your own mistakes!

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