Every day, for over 2 years, I have been taking a train to and from work. It’s only 20 minute ride each way and I enjoy it. At times, I let the train put me to a short nap, or I read a book or I stare outside of the window as the scenery changes. What I call “Train Conversations” is my favorite part of the ride in the afternoon. I enjoying talking to my colleagues from work from life to love to pain to problems and I enjoying learning how much this world has to offer. Often we undervalue what people share with us. I am learning not to take anything for granted, not just on the train ride, but more so in life. What we have today, might no longer be there tomorrow. Never forget that!
As I set on the train today, I knew my stop was coming up, but I wasn’t sure anymore if that was still my destination. Life has taken me places and placed me all over the world. Sometimes by will and other times by choice. I always knew that my life will never be that simple and laid out. At times, I make it harder for myself because I am too proud to ask for help. More often than not, I’m scared to trust. I am scared to get to know someone just in time to say “good bye” and never have that person in my life again. I am getting tired of missing people that I love. It makes me sad that I can’t afford a flight back to visit my dad and meet my soon to be 10 year old brother I have only seen in pictures. Though in a selfish way it makes me happy, but it also makes me sad that I have never attended the funerals of those who raised me and watched me make my first steps while encouraging me not to be afraid. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that this world can offer so much, but at the price tag we are not always able to afford to pay.
I no longer know where I am meant to be, but I am no longer sad if I have to say “good bye” to Rome. I love this city and it forever will be my home away from home. I was able to lose and after find myself here. I was able to dig deep and ask questions I was always afraid to face before. I met great people. I danced. I laughed. I worked my ass off just to be able to hold on to this dream. I am not yet bidding my farewells to the ancient city, but I am preparing myself for another bittersweet “Ciao”. Missing it already. Letting the tears drop. Looking for what’s next. After all, dreams do come true. Just don’t forget to dream!