It’s merely February 6th and I am already
broke. I knew this year is going to be all about sacrifices, I didn’t wholly realized how far they will go. 2011 for me is all about transition and change. I am hoping to continue growing as a person and contribute more to the “new me” project! I am honestly petrified of what’s around the corner; however, I realize that without looking… I will clearly never know. I ought to return back to school with hopes to be accepted for a Masters degree in Peace and Conflict resolution. I am ready to change my life once again, move to a new place and I have a feeling I am finally on the right path!
I graduated back in 2008 and this overwhelming fear of “now it’s all you” frightened me at first. I spent two years working hard just to make ends meet. At one point, I was balancing 4 jobs and struggling to keep a smile on my face. It was tiring, frustrating, overwhelming and there were nights where I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t mind working hard. I didn’t mind not sleeping. I didn’t mind keeping up with a super busy schedule. Instead, I minded the fact that I lost track of my goals and aspirations while wasting my energy on making ends meet. I minded the fact that I couldn’t spend time with my friends. I minded the fact that I didn’t have money to visit my family. I minded how tired I always was. Now it’s back to the drawing board. Though I finally work in 1 place, manage to get enough sleep, spend time with friends and able to make ends meet… I am still not where I’d like to be. Not financially, but professionally! Perhaps, it is a bit ideological, but I want to work to be able to help others. I want to give back and I want to give chances like I was given a chance once. I came from nothing, grew up convinced I’ll be living in America and I’m proud to say I got my wish.
Sometimes, naturally, I don’t give myself enough credit for everything I have achieved. I push myself harder only because I know I have more work ahead of me. I don’t want to lose track of my goals! One day as the case may be I’ll write a book to inspire others to do the same. For now, I am looking forward not to be BROKE again and NEVER forget my goals! Keeping fingers crossed and contemplating to make right decisions to never be in that sad place again. I love smiling and I never want to lose my SMILE again!
Currently, I am doing great with my February Challenge and I haven’t had a drink since Monday! I managed to stay away from sweets as well.
Wisdom of the day that I received as a forward from my mommy:
“A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say “I’m ok” with a smile.”