I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in,
‘Coz I got time while she got freedom,
‘Coz when a heart breaks
no it don’t break even.

As I am listening to the lyrics sang by The Script, I realize how much I miss you. I saw you in my dream last night. You called me. Of course , even in my dream I pretended I had no idea who you were at first. You spoke English. You told me that you missed me too. You sent me a text message but the screen was scrolling so fast that I couldn’t read a single word besides that it was from you.

I don’t ever remember dreaming about you. Why now? After all, it’s been a year. We both moved on and a lot has happened. I wonder if we’ll ever speak again…

It’s interesting how I am willing to forget everything and without a second thought I would be your friend again. Of course, when I did see you around I acted like I barely cared you were there. I cared, I just couldn’t show you that I did. I’m curious what crossed your mind when you saw me.  Hereafter, you hurt me but more than anything you LIED to me! I guess forgiving is not the worst thing that I can do. I don’t hate you! I don’t hate her. Frankly, I’m only hoping that one day you’ll make better decisions in your life. If you’ll ever have guts to talk to me again, I simply wish to know for my peace of mind, how much of everything was a real thing.  Not to justify it, only to know so I can stop wondering. I assume I am like any other girl who’s heart gets broken by a boy who played a game. Except no one WON since we both LOST our friendship. I fancy, our friendship wasn’t something you had planned on keeping to begin with. It’s silly to dwell on it. It’s childish to even give time to thinking about you. Yet, some thoughts go beyond our logic and will. I’ll always care even if you’ll never know!


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